


The Joys of Fatherhood

by Hippychick90



Category: Red Dead Redemption
Genre: Character Death, Emotional Baggage, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/M, Father Figures, Fatherhood, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Marriage, Minor Character Death, One Big Happy Family, Parenthood, Past Relationship(s), Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-05 19:56:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17331347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hippychick90/pseuds/Hippychick90
Summary: Arthur finds Isaac alive after the robbery, but with Eliza gone, he is now left with raising his son all on his own.





	1. Highs and Lows

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea rolling around in my head - it happens a lot, only now I have more to work with!  
> Ever since Arthur went fishing with Jack, I kinda wanted to see Arthur as a Daddy. So we'll have a little look into his life, had Isaac survived the robbery.

_The spring of 1895_

Arthur slowed Boudicca down to a trot as he neared the house, he was immediately put on high alert when he didn't see any movement inside or out. To make things worse, there was no laundry hanging on the line, nor was Abbey, Eliza's horse, out grazing in the corral like she normally did.

Surely Eliza wouldnt have gone on vacation, not without leaving a message for him at the post office. He slid off of Boudicca and tied her to the hitch just out front.

"Liza?" He called."Liza, you home?"

He walked up the three stairs and jiggled the door knob, it opened with a creak. She usually locked the door if she wasn't home. Sensing something was wrong, he pulled his revolver from the holster and crept inside. The place was a mess. A Goddamm mess! An overturned table, broken glass near the hearth, the lockbox carelessly tossed aside - empty. Looked like a real struggle took place..

"Isaac?" He swallowed."Liza?"

Fear coursed through his veins, as he rushed through the house, calling out for Eliza and Isaac! After having no luck on the first floor, he bounded up the stairs to the first door on the right. He jiggled the knob but it was locked! He threw himself against the door but it wouldn't budge - a faint cry on the other side of the door made him stop.

"Isaac? Its Daddy, open the door, son!" He called through the crack."Open the door for me!"

He heard the patter of his feet coming to the door, the slide of the lock and the door creaking open. Impatient, Arthur pushed the door open and when his boy came into view he knelt down and scooped him up in his arms.

Isaac sobbed into Arthur's chest, clutching his shirt, screaming about his Momma. Arthur's face was wet with tears, relieved that his son was still alive! When he pulled away from the boy, pushing him out in front of him, he took note of his bloody clothes. After checking him over to make sure he wasn't injured, he ran a hand over his tear stained face.

"Where's your Momma?"

"T-The b-bad men hurt her!" He whispered.

Arthur felt a lump in his throat; he swallowed and pulled Isaac into his chest again, the boy's little body was shaking as he wept. The outlaw slid down against the door frame holding Isaac in his lap, rocking him - humming a lullaby he'd heard Liza sing a few times, with the hope that he'd calm down a little or just fall asleep all together.

"We're gonna go back to my camp. You're gonna meet a lot of nice people, they're gonna help me take care of you." He sniffled, running his fingers through the boy's hair.

"I-I want my momma!" He cried.

Arthur nodded and slowly rocked Isaac."I know, son, I know." He kissed his head."Its gonna be ok, you hear me? You're safe now."

He stood the boy back on his feet and hoisted himself up from the floor, he walked into the bedroom and found a bag just underneath the bed his son had slept in. He stuffed some clothes inside as well as a few toys, then the picture of Eliza that always sat on the dresser. Arthur wanted Isaac to remember his Momma.

When he turned around ready to leave, Isaac was standing there, his head hanging low, crying. Arthur's heart was heavy in his chest and his stomach was in knots. He felt as if he might puke.

"Isaac...I need you to be brave for me, kay?" He knelt down in front of him."I need you to be brave for Daddy, alright?"

The little boy nodded and wrapped his arms around Arthur's neck. He grabbed the bag and stood to his feet, his son's limbs instantly wrapping around him. Arthur took to the stairs slowly, as he didn't want to fall. Boudicca snorted happily once they exited the house.

He tossed the bag on the back of the horse, securing it in place with some extra rope he had in his saddlebag. He lifted Isaac on to the saddle, then climbed up behind the boy and clicked his tongue, pulling Boudicca from the house and back on the road.

Arthur wrapped an arm around the boy and kissed his head."You're alright now, I promise."

He'd come back later tonight or in the morning and give Eliza a proper burial. She deserved so much more though, she deserved the entire world but all he could give her was a little bit of his time each month. He wished he could do things differently, maybe leave the gang when he had the chance, marry Eliza - at least the robbery wouldn't of happened then, or maybe he could've defended them if it had. But he was selfish at the time, thinking only of himself and his loyalty to the gang.

However, things would have to change now that he had a son to raise. He wasn't sure how the hell he'd be able to do it, but he was going to try his best to raise him like Eliza would've wanted. He'd see that Isaac would grow up right, there'd be no funny business where he was concerned. He wouldn't grow up to become the man that he was.

So he decided one more big take then he was done, he'd take his half and go out West. But until the opportunity presented itself, Isaac would be staying with him and the gang. At the very least this would give him time to do some more planning - the right way and not just on a wing and a prayer.

 _Life is all about second chances_ , he recalled hearing once. Perhaps raising Isaac was his second chance to do some good in the world. This didnt make up for the countless things he did in the name of money, but it certainly made him feel something for all those people he hurt, all the laws he broke. He couldn't change the past, but he could certainly shape the future - though it seemed life already did that for him. Twice.


	2. A New Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang rallies behind Arthur.

Arthur rode into camp that night, Isaac asleep against his chest, his little hand clutching the cuff of his jacket. The others were curious as to who the boy was, not knowing that he had a son in the first place. Although Hosea and Dutch knew, they'd never formally met the boy. Arthur never talked about him for fear that someone could overhear - rival gangs these days were all too happy to take out loved ones.

Hosea took the boy off the saddle so Arthur could jump down, he didn't even wake during the transition. Arthur's head hung low as explained what happened, he didn't need to look up to know everyone had gathered round.

"Killed his momma for 10 dollars." He swallowed thickly."She barricaded them in his room - died in his arms."

He gently took the boy back into his arms and started towards his tent. Everyone was quiet as he walked by, he didn't look anyone in the face for fear he'd break down. He was so close to breaking down already, now with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Once inside the tent, he laid the boy on his cot and rolled down the flaps. He had more of a reason for privacy now. He took a seat at the foot of the bed, resting his arms on his knees. The reality of the situation blurring his ability to even think straight, he didn't know what was up or down anymore - left or right.

"Arthur?" Hosea whispered.

He looked up and stared as the older man walked into his tent, Dutch ducking in behind him. They stood there quietly, their faces long with emotions Arthur could no longer read. Not now anyway.

"If there's anything we can do for you..." Dutch started but trailed off, for the first time unable to find the right words.

Hosea nodded."Anything you need son, don't hesitate to ask us."

Arthur didn't respond, just nodded his thanks. He felt Hosea squeeze his shoulder on his way out of the tent. He glanced over at Isaac and frowned. The boy was so small and at one point in his life, innocent. Though, now, he feared it was lost after seeing his momma die the way she had.

The disturbing part about all of this, was that the very same thing he did for a living, was the same exact thing that killed Eliza and that _almost_ killed Isaac. What a fine example he was.

He hoisted himself off the bed and grabbed his bedroll out of the chest. He didn't want to disturb the boy so he elected to sleep on the ground. Once he lowered himself down on his bedroll, he couldn't help but think of poor Liza laying there, a bullet wound in her chest. She was such a good mother to Isaac and such a good friend to him.

When he'd stay for a few days at a time, they'd stay up late, drink tea or coffee and talk - sometimes until dawn. They'd put their son to bed together, but Arthur would always read him a story or make one up. The boy loved it. And truth be told, so did Arthur.

It was really something to hear Isaac call him daddy. He never thought he'd ever become a father, therefore never really put much thought into it. But it was probably the best sound he'd ever heard, not to mention the sweetest. It melted his heart the first time he reached for him, babbling the words Dada.

His momma, Eliza, was a girl he frequently saw in Valentine, she was waitressing at the saloon, which was probably not the best place for a young girl to be, but she had her reasons. She had long dark brown hair and the eyes to match, pretty little figure, a knock you out kind of smile. Smart as a whip, knew a ton of poetry too. He'd gone through a terrible breakup a few months prior, so he saw the dark hair and was instantly reminded of Mary.

One night when he was feeling particularly low, she came over and started talking to him. They had a few drinks and next thing he remembered was them rushing to the hotel across the street. He needed to forget Mary, needed to forget how she ripped his heart in two. Eliza was more than willing - maybe a little too willing. Why she would ever want to sleep with the likes of him was beyond his imagination.

After that night though, the gang had moved again and he didn't have a chance to go back to say goodbye. He felt bad. Real bad. However, one day a few months later, he decided to go visit her, having missed her for some reason or another. When he got to the saloon, he'd asked the bartender about Eliza, but he said she had quit. He then gave him the directions to the house she was renting with a few girls and he was on his way.

When he got to the house he was in for a surprise. Eliza opened the door, her belly rounding out quite nicely. She said it was his and he was certain of it - never even doubted her once. He offered to marry her, but she declined, claimed his life was too dangerous for her. He agreed.

They came up with a plan for Arthur to come see the baby whenever he was in town, but seeing how he was so far outside of Valentine, it was every few months that he could find time to make the trip. But it was worth it to slip away from the gang for a while, he needed that sense of normalcy in his life.

* * *

In the early morning hours, Arthur was woken up by Isaac shaking his arm. He cracked an eye open and reached out to the boy, ruffling his mess of brown hair. He slowly sat up, his head feeling as if it weighed a hundred pounds.

"What's wrong?" A yawn escaped his lips.

"I have to potty." He whispered.

Arthur nodded and stood up with the boy, grabbing his hand as they exited the tent. They didn't quite have an out house yet, though they were working on something that was easy to move in the event that they moved. Which they would and always did.

"Ain't like the ones you're used to, but it gets the job done." He opened the flap to the small teepee near the edge of the woods.

As Isaac entered the tent, Arthur stood outside, arms folded, yawning like a damn fool. It was still very early in the morning, almost too early for him to even be awake. Pearson wasn't even awake yet and he was always up before the sun rose. His best guess would be 3am.

He wasn't sure when he fell asleep last night, but it must've been right around the time he started thinking of Liza. He'd have to leave Isaac with Hosea in the morning while he went back to bury her, he wasnt looking forward to it, but someone had to and it _had_ to be him.

When Issac exited the teepee, he raised his arms for Arthur. He lifted the boy into his arms and he instantly laid his head on Arthur's chest, arms wound tight around his neck, legs around his waist. Arthur walked them both back to his tent, eyes half closed, hand rubbing small circles on Isaac's back.

"Morning."

Arthur stopped and turned towards Dutch's tent."You're up early."

He stepped out of his tent, a cigar placed between his fingers, his clothes wrinkled, having looked slept in.

"Havent been to sleep yet." He admitted.

Arthur exhaled and looked away."How come?"

"I've been worried about you, Arthur." He placed the cigar between his lips.

"I'll be fine, just...have to figure out what I'm gonna do now."

Dutch nodded."Well whatever you choose to do, son, think long and hard about it. You shouldn't make decisions in haste."

Arthur nodded and walked back to his tent; Isaac was fast asleep when he laid him down in bed. He sat there a while just staring at the boy, wondering if he had it in him to continue what they did. Could he even pull the trigger if faced with the option? Could he look a widow in the eye and demand money? Could he beat a man for mouthing off to him?

The answer was no, but he knew he had to or the life he wanted for him and his son would cease to exist. Let's face it, he was a man of limited skill and after being subjected to this life for so long, working under someone else's order, practically in solitary confinement for hours at a time, all for rat wages just wasn't his cup of tea. He always did what he had to do to survive and he'd continue until he got what he wanted.

* * *

The next morning, it was Arthur who was awake just as the sun rose. He sat up for a few minutes gathering his thoughts, trying to blink the sleep out of his eyes. Isaac was still fast asleep and that's how he wanted it. He stood up and splashed his face with cool water, ran his toothbrush over his teeth, taking a swig of some moonshine. Probably not the best thing to do, but, he needed something to wake him up.

He pulled on a pair of clean socks, his boots, tucked in his shirt and grabbed his gun belt off the chest. He walked over to the boy and leaned over, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. When he didn't stir, Arthur left the tent, closing the flap behind him.

Hosea was sitting at the table cleaning his rifle, which _he'd_ have to do once he got back. He walked over to the older man and stood next to the table, rolling a stray bullet between his fingers. Hosea paused his ministrations and glanced up at Arthur.

"Something wrong, son?"

Arthur dropped the bullet in his shirt pocket."Was wonderin' if you could watch Isaac for a bit, I..uh, I gotta go do somethin' for-"

Hosea nodded."Do you need someone to go with you?"

"No..I have to do this myself."

"The boy will be okay. I'll see that he gets something to eat, a bath and fresh clothes."

"Thank you." He mumbled.

He walked away over to Boudicca, who was happily grazing in the field with the other horses. He quickly saddled her up then mounted her and with a click of his tongue, he nudged her into a trot. He had a sour taste in his mouth, the kind that didn't go away, not even with the strongest whiskey available. He felt solely responsible for Liza's death, and maybe on some level it was because of who he was that killed her. He'd find the son of a bitch and kill him, though the way he was feeling he had a half a mind to torture whoever did it first. But in the end, it didn't matter what he did, it wouldn't bring Liza back, but it would sure give him a peace of mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the response last chapter! Love you all!


	3. Old Goodbyes and A New Hello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur buries Eliza - Baby Jack is born!

He carried Liza's lifeless body out of the house, even in death she looked so beautiful. He laid her down on a sheet next to the hole he'd dug all morning, kneeling down beside her he gave her hand a final squeeze.

"It shouldn't be like this." He mumbled, looking down."I know you didn't want Isaac 'round my people, but it's gotta be like that for a while, just until I figure what I'm goin' to do next."

Perhaps she'd understand, but, she always was a very understanding person. If she weren't so understanding, she would've surely thrown a fit when he pledged his loyalty to the gang, though he didn't really have to, she just knew. Of course if he decided to stay with Eliza, the gang would've understood, despite having a hard time accepting it.

"He'll be taken care of. Proper schoolin' on account of Dutch and Hosea." He breathed somewhat of a laugh."They'll make sure he's good and proper. And I'll make sure he don't turn out like me, cause... it's what you wanted. Can't promise he wont see or hear things, but I'll try my best to keep him away from it."

After his speech, he lowered her into the hole, covering her face last. He started shoveling, his heart heavy with despair and uncertainty. What he wouldn't give to go back in time a few days - if he hadn't of camped out that night, maybe he would've gotten there a lot sooner and things would be different, or still the same for that matter.

When Isaac was born he was a little late to the party, but he remembered feeling about as scared as he felt now. The idea of being a parent was scary in itself, now having to raise the kid all by his lonesome, well that was another level of scary. Naturally he'd have help, but, the kind of help he needed wasn't what the gang could provide.

He placed a single white cross in the dirt, marking her grave. He stood off to the side, taking in the sight before him. _Dead. Eliza. Shot in the chest._ He closed his eyes and looked down at his feet. He missed her already. He knew Isaac did too.

Once he said his goodbyes, he jumped on Boudicca and started towards camp, wanting to put as much distance between he and Eliza's grave as possible. He wondered if Isaac was up and spending time with Hosea, or if he was still asleep in his tent? The poor kid looked as if he hadn't slept in days, and probably so after what he'd been through - maybe it'd be a good idea for him to sleep in, after all. As for himself, he could probably sleep for days, if only his body didn't betray him every morning.

The scenery became a blur to him, the early morning air still damp, a chill setting into his bones. Spring was always a funny season. Chilly in the morning, warm in the afternoon. Warm enough for flowers to bloom, yet still cold enough for snow.

Spring as a season, was almost how he was as a person. He was wild and untamed like a summer thunderstorm, but at the drop of a hat, soft and sweet like a warm breeze. Never really any consistency. He only hoped Isaac took after the half way decent side of him - the all too hidden side of him.

When he rode into camp, it was late morning and everyone was more or less awake at this point. If not they'd surely hear it from Grimshaw.

As Arthur dismounted Boudicca, he noticed Hosea sitting at the table with Isaac in his lap. The knot in his stomach lessened at the sight. He didn't hitch the mare to the post, he'd just let her graze for a while with the other horses. She deserved it.

He walked over to the table, his legs aching some from the ride. Isaac looked up and gave a shy wave, he nodded his head.

"Already givin' him a lesson?" Arthur teased.

Hosea chuckled."Its never too early, Arthur."

Arthur noted that Isaac was cleaner, his clothes looked new and he was actually...dare he say, happy? He took a seat next to Hosea and the boy, watching as he played with the pages of the book.

"Show your pa what we learned." Hosea encouraged.

Isaac placed his finger under a word."That says the little dog!"

Arthur smiled."Uncle Hosea taught you that already?"

He nodded his head enthusiastically. Arthur breathed a laugh.

"Keep it up." he said, standing to his feet."Im gonna talk to Uncle Dutch now, come find me when you're all done."

"Okay Daddy."

Arthur squeezed Hosea's shoulder, the older man reached over and patted his hand. _I can do this. He's already reading. He'll be fine here._

He maneuvered his way through camp, making sure to stop and greet Abigail, who was heavily pregnant with John's child, though that was debatable. It seemed like a real issue around camp, but not quite his problem anymore. True, John was his friend, the annoying little brother he never wanted, and up until this whole thing with Isaac, he was concerned. But things change when you have to grow up.

Dutch was sitting under a tree reading a book he'd probably read for the hundreth time. He cleared his throat, making his presence known. The older man looked up and closed his book, a small string acting as a marker to remember the page he was on.

"Everything go ok, Son?"

Arthur nodded."Yeah. All done."

"Your boy is already learning to read." Dutch pointed out, the hint of a smile on his face.

Arthur nodded."I know...I was just watchin' him."

Dutch stood up, brushing off his pants."I know you dont feel comfortable with him being here-"

"It aint that, its Liza. Feel like I'm doin' her wrong by bringing him here." He heaved a sigh."She didnt want him around us, thats why she weren't never with me."

Dutch nodded."Well in honor of young beautiful Eliza, we'll make sure the only thing scandalous around here is our parties."

Arthur couldnt help but chuckle at that. Their parties _were_ a bit scandalous at times; raunchy songs, drinking late into the night, poker, telling and retelling stories, private tent parties between two or more people - Arthur never participated in those, never thought it was right. Definitely didn't now.

Things were starting to look up for him, it seemed. His son looked happier, was already learning things thanks to Hosea. Arthur could finally be the father he never had growing up, and the gang was willing to help him - which was more than he could ever ask for. He was still concerned with his place in the gang, especially now, but he guessed he'd find his way one day.

* * *

A few nights later Abigail went into labor, everyone was in a frenzy as they waited. They all were ordered to stay near the far end of camp, while Mrs. Grimshaw and Bessie took control of the situation. John took it one step further and hung out by the lake. They chit chatted a while but mostly listened as Abigail screeched out in pain - they couldn't really help it. _Is this what Liza went through?_ Arthur wondered.

Arthur was now a bit concerned that this was too much for John, fatherhood weren't for the weak hearted. He didn't have a lot of room to talk on the subject, but, he was at least making an effort. He only hoped John would at least try.

The next scream they heard was that of a baby! Everyone stood, turning towards the tent, holding their breath as Bessie walked out.

She clapped her hands."A boy. John has a son!"

Everyone cheered at that - Bill and Javier hollered that it was now a party! Arthur looked over toward John who had turned towards the noise, curiosity written all over his face. He sauntered over to the young man, trying to read him, when he turned his back.

"Hey!" Arthur called, reaching for his arm."Hey! You have a son."

"I don't care!" He shoved his arm away.

"What the hell is your problem?" Arthur huffed.

"It ain't mine."

Arthur inched closer."The hell it aint! Weren't you two sweet on each other?"

"That don't matter no more, she was sweet on everybody in camp!"

"You really gonna leave her now?"

"I ain't leavin', just ain't gonna be celebrating nothin'." He picked up a stone and tossed it into the lake.

"You're a piece of work." Arthur shook his head.

John snorted."What? Saved your son and now your some father of the year?"

Arthur's hands balled into fists, his jaw clenched tight. John didn't even show remorse at his sudden choice of words. Arthur wanted to beat the shit out of him, to teach him a lesson for mouthing off, much like he used to. But he remembered Isaac sleeping soundly in his tent, so he turned his head to the side, looking out over the water.

"Y'know - I'm sorry I ever brought you back here, ya worthless piece of shit." He turned on his heel, storming off into the woods.

As Arthur stomped through the woods, the singing and cheering from camp fading into the night, he couldn't help cursing Marston. What a fool he was! Disgusted with the whole damn thing, Arthur took a seat against a nearby tree. With a cigarette placed between his fingers, he tilted his head back looking up at the million stars that night.

_"You can come in." The midwife said with a smile._

_Arthur took off his hat as he entered the room. Eliza sat against the headboard, her mess of brown hair over one shoulder. She looked tired and weak, but happy as she looked down at the small bundle, currently suckling at her teet._

_"It's a boy." She beamed up at him._

_He knelt down beside the bed."He's so small."_

_"His head sure ain't." She teased._

_Arthur grimaced at the thought. He brushed a strand of hair out of her face."I'm sorry I weren't here. I shoulda been."_

_With a free hand she reached out and touched his face."Birthin' ain't no place for a man to be."_

_"Still wish I was here." He shrugged._

_"You are now." She smiled."Plus, he wasn't much to see, all bloody and pink - didn't even look human."_

_He snickered."Well that's...Interesting."_

_"He's more handsome now."_

_Arthur gently trailed his fingers over his sons head. He had light brown hair much like his own, he imagined either brown or blue eyes. His hands were so small, but his fingers were strong as they wrapped around his own. Eliza and Arthur couldn't help but share a quiet laugh._

_"If uh, you ever change your mind 'bout marriage-"_

_"I ain't, but I'll think about it." She smiled._

_Arthur nodded and leaned down, pressing a kiss to Isaac's head._


	4. A little Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A journal entry.  
> Arthur takes Isaac fishing.  
> Dutch has a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned to update last week, but I got super sick so I couldn't. I hope this chapter makes up for it :D

_It's been a week since I buried Liza. Isaac's been ok, not great. He's happy, but I see the sadness in his eyes, the curiosity, the questions. He wants to ask where his Momma is, but he's afraid. I'm a little afraid to answer that question. I ain't never really been one for religion, I used to believe in God, then he took my Momma and I forgot his name. But if it all does exist, she's most certainly in Heaven._

_Well John and Abigail had a baby boy the other night, his name is Jack. Cute little thing. John don't think it's his, because Abigail fooled around with the others in camp - can't say I blame him too much. However Abigail is sure he's the Father. We all know they was sweet on each other for the longest time, didn't take a genius to figure out what was going on. The camp is only so big, you can hear everything._

_I guess it bothers me that he's not taking responsibility for what's his. I know I shouldn't get involved with dramatics, but this one really bothers me. If the kid really is his then he needs to step up. Be a man. We taught him better than that, or so I thought we did. But in the end it ain't my problem._

_Isaac is happy there's a baby around, he's got this glint in his eyes, like a kid on Christmas morning. I think he likes the idea of being a big brother - Hosea and Dutch said he'd be a big brother to little Jack and he grew excited, probably the happiest I've seen him since. The kid sure does deserve it._

_As for myself? I don't deserve happiness or to have such a sweet boy, I don't even deserve to be a Father. I ain't been good to him or Liza, but I did love them a lot. Reverend Swanson, the newly drunken idiot to join our band of Misfits, said my second chance was my boy being alive instead of dead. A second chance to right all my wrongs and start on a better path._

_I don't know anymore, whatever it is, it's confusing the hell out of me._

Arthur closed his journal and looked out over the water, watching as Isaac dug in the wet sand beside him. It'd been a week and he'd done good so far, as much good as he could do in a week anyway. He went out less for Strauss, so the old man picked on the others. Arthur didn't much care about beating people to a pulp for money anymore.

"Look Daddy!" Isaac exclaimed, holding up a bone.

Arthur reached for it."Hmm..Ain't sure what kind this is, maybe a bird?"

Isaac wiped his hands off on his pants."Like Dinosaurs?"

"Uh what?"

"Uncle Hosea said they was big lizards!"

Arthur nodded, humoring the boy."Maybe - could be? Keep lookin' for more."

Isaac laughed and hurried back over to the spot he'd been digging in. Arthur put the bone in his satchel and turned back to the water, watching as boaters drifted by, bidding a greeting. Arthur gave a nod in return, not wanting to draw too much attention to himself or the group.

"Hey Arthur."

He craned his neck as Mary-Beth walked down the shore line. He sat up straighter and offered a smile. Mary-Beth joined the gang a few months back, a dangerous gal she was. The best damn thief he was sure to ever meet. Her kindness and innocence could distract any man long enough to steal his watch and money and be on her way home, before that said man even realized he'd been robbed. A real asset to the gang she was.

"Hey Mary-Beth."

She took a seat next to him, smoothing over her dress."How've you been?"

He shrugged, waving his hand."I'm...not sure. Ain't too sure of much these days."

It was true, most of the things he thought he knew, he realized he didn't know. He figured it was life throwing him another curveball, and after all this time he still wasn't used to them. Hosea always told him to just go with the tide - don't try to fight it. He'd try to fight it, of course, and ultimately lose. So this time, he figured he'd just listen to the advice given to him.

"That's expected right now, Arthur." She looked over at the boy."He seems happier."

"Yeah." He nodded."He does. Don't know what's doin' it."

" _You._ He told me he's real glad to be here."

"Did he now?"

She nodded."I think this is good for you, being a father and all. You've been keeping it a secret, I'm guessing as not many people know about it. So it's good that you're finally getting this chance."

"Wasn't never a secret, just got worried. All them gangs, they play for blood." He heaved a sigh."Didn't want it gettin' back to them that I had a family."

"But it did?"

He nodded and looked down."Unfortunately. Fortunately, Isaac survived."

"Yes that's a good thing." She reached over and patted his hand.

Arthur looked down at his hand, her hand on top. She was such a sweet gentle soul, a comforting person to talk to. He never took offense when she spoke to him, she never really said anything that offended him anyhow.

"Thank you, Mary-Beth."

She smiled."I'm here for you...and Isaac."

"I'll remember that."

They sat there in a comfortable silence for a while, before she got up and left, making her way back to the heart of camp. Isaac ran up to Arthur, proudly holding up a seashell. Arthur examined it, running his thumb over the ridges. He glanced up at the boy as he watched him, waiting for him to react. He offered a smile and ruffled his hair. With a sudden huff, Isaac took a seat beside Arthur, looking out over the water - much like Arthur was.

"Watcha thinkin' about?"

Isaac shrugged."Momma."

Arthur frowned and placed his hand on his back."I know ya miss her, I do too."

"I wish she was here."

He heaved a sigh."Me too."

"Can we visit her?" He asked."I wanna show her my seashell."

"Maybe in a few days." He replied, but nearly in a whisper.

The boy nodded and picked up the seashell, running his fingers over it, before sticking it in his pocket. Arthur leaned down and kissed his head. He really did love the boy, even if he weren't so good to him in the past. He was still apart of him, after all.

He only wished his father gave him half the attention he's giving Isaac, maybe he'd be a better man for it if he had. But all he taught him was how to steal, of course no one would expect a child to steal from them. And they had to eat.

When his father was hanged in San Francisco, he didn't even feel sadness. Not even a twinge of pain. Just relief. He couldn't count the number of times his daddy took a switch to his behind or a fist to his face. As he looked to Isaac, he wondered how anyone could be so cruel to a child? Had to be evil. Not even half wit would think to hit a small child the way his daddy had.

_Bad memories says you're living in the past, you gotta move on from that. There ain't no place for you in the past._

* * *

"Hold the rod like this." He adjusted Isaac's hands the proper way on the pole."...Gotta bob it up and down like this."

Isaac paid close attention as Arthur demonstrated on how to bob the fishing pole up and down, not too quick but not too slow either. He explained to reel in the line a little at a time, to make the fish think it's got something good.

"Then when you got a bite, jerk the pole like this." He jerked the pole; Isaac laughed.

He sat down next to him as he pulled out some bait, watching Isaac as he practiced bobbing the pole up and down. He couldn't help but smile. A very smart boy he was, at five years old no less. Eliza must've been teaching him something, because he took to everything so easily - no fuss no muss.

"Can I have a horse?"

Arthur lifted his head from his bait."Uh, you're too young still, need some time to grow."

"I'm big!" He exclaimed.

"Not yet." He chuckled."Still knee high to a grasshopper."

His brow furrowed, nose scrunched."What's that mean?"

"Means your small."

Isaac gasped."I got a fish!"

Arthur stood up and guided the boy, jerking the pole ever so gently, waiting until the fish was hooked before reeling him in. It gave up a little fight, but nothing too harsh.

Once the fish came to the surface, Arthur reached down and plucked him from the water. He placed the fish in an old rag, gripping it just under the gills as he worked the hook out of its mouth.

"Can we keep him?"

"Uh, it's a little small, but..." He looked down at Isaac, so happy and beaming with pride. How could he deny him this. He nodded his head."Yeah, we can keep 'em."

"Yay!" He jumped up and down.

Arthur chuckled and dropped him in the bucket. He resumed baiting his hook, casted his line out, then stuck the pole in the sand. He grabbed Isaac's rod and began baiting it with a cricket he'd found. He casted his line out then handed him the pole.

_One fish down._

"Arthur, my boy!" Dutch bellowed from behind.

Arthur turned and nodded."Dutch."

"How's my boy here? Is he catching anything?"

"Caught the first one."

Dutch peered inside and nodded his approval."Good job, son, that'll be your fish to eat tonight."

"Okay." Isaac replied.

The dark haired man took a seat beside Arthur, his boots now coated with wet sand and water droplets. Arthur had a feeling this wasn't a social call, as he hardly ever left his tent for anything other than food.

"What?" Arthur asked.

Dutch chuckled."I heard a rumor about a stage in Strawberry-"

"No."

He was taken aback."No?"

Arthur looked away, suddenly feeling the heat from Dutch's glare."I've got Isaac now, can't go abandoning him to chase after a stagecoach."

"You won't be abandoning him. You'll be coming back!"

"There's always that chance we won't, Dutch. Somebody get's a little too friendly with the trigger - I ain't gonna have my son an orphan." He made sure to lower his voice, as he didn't want Isaac to overhear.

He placed a hand on Arthur's shoulder."These people won't be armed. Only the driver. Take him out and everything else is a piece of cake."

"What guarantee do we have of that?"

"Arthur, my boy, I have connections."

"And are they reliable?" Arthur questioned.

"...Have some faith, Arthur." He patted his back.

Arthur stood there as Dutch left him, back to his tent like always. In that moment, he felt helpless - forced into doing something he didn't want to do anymore. It was like Dutch didn't want to hear him or his concerns, he just wanted the alleged money. What guarantee did they have that there'd be any money anyway? Or that only the driver would have a gun?

What he wouldn't give to just run away, far away from this mess - just him and Isaac.


	5. Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isaac nearly gives Arthur a heart attack.  
> Dutch is pestering Arthur again.  
> Arthur is starting to rethink things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, had a lot of things happening last week and last weekend I had the stomach bug! Yuck!  
> I hope this makes up for the delay :D

Arthur needed to get away from camp for a while, so he volunteered to go to town for Pearson. It'd be good for him to clear his mind and it'd be good for Isaac to get away from camp. He helped Charles hitch the wagon, as Hosea finished up his daily lesson with Isaac. Boudicca snorted happily as she grazed with the other horses, free from the confines of her saddle. He offered the mare a carrot and she happily accepted.

"That's my girl." He patted her neck.

"Arthur, wagon's ready." Charles announced.

Arthur nodded."Thanks."

Isaac ran over to Arthur and he knelt down, scooping him up into his arms. Arthur smiled as the boy excitedly went over his lessons, taking a moment in between to breathe.

"So ya had fun?"

He nodded his head."Mhm!"

Arthur smiled and hoisted Isaac up into the wagon, the boy scooted over to give him some room. He glanced behind the seat and saw his shotgun - Charles must've snuck it back there just in case. As far as he was concerned, the only gun he needed was the one on his hip. He wasn't out to cause any trouble or give anyone the impression that he was. Not while Isaac was along for the ride.

"Uncle Hosea says that I'm gonna learn to write soon!"

"Already?"

He nodded.

"Well that's good. How's your reading comin' along?" He snapped the reins, spurring the horses into a trot.

"Good. Sometimes I can't read stuff, but I got to sound it out." He shrugged.

"You listen to Uncle Hosea, he taught me to read."

Isaac looked over at him, grinning."Really?"

Arthur nodded."Sure did. I was a lot older than you are, so I wasn't that good at it."

"But you are now!"

"Cause practice makes perfect." He chuckled."Took me a long time to figure that out."

"I want to be good like you." Isaac giggled.

Well that certainly wasn't something he expected to hear. _Good?_ Yeah, a good killer, thief, liar. He knew what Isaac meant, writing and reading and all, but, just hearing him say those words bothered him. Isaac had no clue the things he did and he hoped that he never found out. He didn't want him mistaking what he did for anything good.

"Where are we going?"

"To town. Gonna go shoppin' for Uncle Pearson." He glanced down at the list Mrs. Grimshaw scribbled down.

"Why's he mad all the time?"

Arthur chuckled and shook his head."Cause he ain't never been a happy feller."

"Oh." He looked down at his feet swinging below.

Arthur glanced over and nudged the boy."Here. I'm gettin' tired, you drive for a while."

"Really?" He beamed.

Arthur nodded and lifted Isaac on to his lap, handing over the reins. Arthur's hands were near Isaac's in case he needed to act quick, but so far nothing really seemed jarring enough to make him act. The horses were used to the wildlife that hung out near the road, plus they were smart enough to steer away from them.

"Am I doing good?" Isaac chirped.

"Doin' great kid." He smiled, kissing the top of his head.

When they got to town, Arthur took back the reins as it was a bit congested. Isaac still stood between his legs, his smaller hands laying over his. Arthur pulled the wagon up to the General store and pulled the break.

He jumped down from the wagon and gripped the boy's hand, feeling a bit on edge as this was their first outing together. They walked up the stairs at the corner of the store, and Isaac stopped short, immediately drawn to the dog sitting by the door.

"Look!" He pointed. The dog got up and trotted over, wagging his tail.

No cause for a worry, dogs around here were friendly enough, plus he'd seen this dog roaming around before. Arthur knelt down and scratched the dog behind his ear, he tilted his head to the side and groaned. Isaac laughed.

"Can we keep him?"

"Uh...He ain't ours." Arthur stood up and ran a hand over his chin."We'll see. C'mon let's go inside first."

Isaac huffed and stood up, grabbing ahold of Arthur's hand. They both walked into the store and were greeted by the shopkeeper, who told Arthur to help himself. He lifted the list up to his face, squinting as he tried reading Mrs. Grimshaw's scribbles.

_Ground Coffee_

_Assorted Biscuits_

_Canned Peaches_

_Corn_

_Jerky_

_Apples_

_2 Dozen Potatoes_

_1 bag of Oats_

"Uh, I got a list here. Just bring it around to the wagon." He placed the list on the counter and turned around."Isaac - Isaac?"

He walked around frantically looking for the boy, behind every display and in every corner. His heart was beginning to race. Isaac was no where around! He glanced out the window hoping to see him outside with the dog, but when he didn't he got a funny taste in his mouth.

"Shit!"

Arthur ran out of the store and looked up and down the street, his heart raging on like a thunderstorm. When he saw that damn dog running down the opposite side of the street, his blood ran cold. He ran out into the middle of the street questioning the people passing by, but none really seemed all that interested in what he had to say. Some were helpful though, pointing in one direction while others simply said he ran off with a dog. Arthur wanted to scream, wanted to curse himself for not keeping a closer eye on him!

He ran past the Hotel and he keeled over - his lungs feeling as if they might collapse. The butcher walked out from around his counter and placed a hand on his back, Arthur stood up and shrugged off the man's kind gesture.

"H-Have you seen a little boy? ...my son." He swallowed.

"He went to see the sheep, I think. Some girl and him."

Arthur nodded and jogged toward the sheep corral, his mind racing in all different directions, heart pounding in his ears. When he finally made it to the corral, he keeled over again, breathing heavily. He slowly stood up and squeezed his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose. _Good? Yeah can't even keep an eye on my son!_ He jogged around the corral, peering into each nook and cranny, calling out for Isaac.

"Sir!" He called out.

An older man stopped and turned around."Yeah?"

Arthur stopped just short of the man."H-Have you seen a little boy? H-He's my son."

"Oh yeah, he was with some woman, she yer wife?"

"No, no! He was chasing after some damn dog!"

The man nodded."Well they went to the train station, said somethin' bout lookin' for someone?"

"God..dammit!" Arthur took off toward the train station.

Once he got there he barged into the place and everyone turned, gawking at him like he was a raging maniac. Maybe he was, but he had a reason. He heard laughter from behind him and spun around. There in the corner, Isaac sat with a blonde haired woman. He didn't look any worse for the wear and she didn't look like she was _too_ much of a threat, though he couldn't be too sure of anything nowadays. He hurried over and Isaac looked up, surprised. He jumped down off the chair and ran over to him.

"Daddy!"

Arthur knelt down with open arms."Where'd ya go boy? Got me worried."

"I was chasing Ace and I got lost."

"I'm sorry sir, I didn't mean to walk off with your son. I found him crying asking for help, so I brought him here. I figured if anything you'd look here first."

He glanced up, locking eyes with the girl."Thank you, Miss..?"

"Beth." She offered a smile.

He nodded and gripped Isaac's shoulders."Don't run off like that again, alright?"

Isaac nodded, his bottom lip quivering."I-I'm sorry."

"It's alright." He hugged him again.

Arthur dug into his pocket, pulling out a few dollars. Beth shook her head."I won't take your money, Mr?"

"Arthur.. Morgan."

"I won't take your money, Mr. Morgan. I was only doing what was right."

He gave her a curt nod. Isaac waved.

"Hope I see you around, Isaac?"

"I'm sure you will. But I'll be with him." Arthur assured.

Beth smiled."Of course."

Arthur carried Isaac back to the wagon, his legs feeling much like jelly. He was still angry with himself for losing his son - how could he do such a thing? He felt stupid, but most of all like he failed Liza. He vowed to protect Isaac and he felt as if he hadn't been. Anything could've happened to him in the amount of time that he was gone. Thankfully that nice woman found him, God only knows who could've found him if she hadn't.

_Lost Isaac today in town. What a dumbass I am. Here I'm thinking I can actually take care of my son, keep him safe and out of harms way. Can't even watch him when we're in town. Thankfully some woman named Beth found him, if it weren't for her who knows who could've found him. Guess I won't be taking him into town with me anymore, cant run the risk of it happening again._

After a quick sketch of Isaac and Beth sitting in the train station, he closed his journal and stuffed it into his satchel. He watched Isaac sleeping so soundly next to him, suddenly afraid to let him out of his sight.

Arthur reached over and turned the lantern off, plunging the tent into darkness. He wrapped an arm over Isaac and nestled closer to the boy - he just needed to be close right now. Maybe it was that he lost him in town today, or maybe because he hadn't been the best father to him. Or a little of both.

"Love you, Son." He whispered.

And he did more than anything.

* * *

The next morning, Arthur felt a light tickling just under his nose. His eyes fluttered open and he saw Isaac hovering over him, running a string across his upper lip. Arthur chuckled and wrapped his arms around the boy. He screamed and laughed as Arthur tickled his sides.

"D-Daddy!" He laughed. Arthur paused giving him time to breathe.

"What?"

"I..."He swallowed."I'm hungry."

Arthur nodded."Me too."

"Arthur."

He glanced up and saw a shadow outside his tent - it sounded like Dutch and the shadow looked like him too. With the roll of his eyes, the outlaw sat up and ran his hands through his hair, something he found himself doing more and more lately. Another habit he didn't need.

"Yeah?"

"You decent?"

Arthur yawned."Uh, yeah. Come in."

The tent flap opened and Dutch walked in. Isaac instantly jumped off the bed and wrapped his arms around his legs, Dutch chuckled and patted his head. Arthur sat on the edge of the bed, trying to wake up properly, when Dutch placed his hand on his shoulder.

"I hope you changed your mind about Strawberry, we're gonna need an extra man." He shrugged."Plus...it's good money."

Arthur glanced up at that."Money - That all you care about?"

Dutch snorted."Arthur...son, you ain't sounding much like yourself anymore.

"I ain't myself anymore Dutch, I got a son to raise. If it weren't for him.."he huffed."I'd probably still be doin' stupid shit, but I can't do that no more."

"It ain't stupid, it's life, Arthur." He explained carefully, with the shake of his head. "I know you have a son, but you got to let go every once and a while. Nothing good ever comes from being too attached."

Arthur shook his head."I'dunno."

"Think about it some more then come see me." He patted his back before leaving the tent.

Arthur glared at the man as he left his tent. Isaac, who was playing on the floor, looked up to him.

"Still hungry?"

He nodded.

Arthur stood up."C'mon, lets go get some food."

Arthur, against his better judgement, was beginning to believe this was his only way out. His chance to get enough money and finally be on his own, just him and Isaac. Maybe he should tag along, after all. Isaac would be in good hands anyway, Mrs. Grimshaw would probably put him to work, but something just didn't feel right about it. Maybe it was just him.

With a shake of the head, he gripped Isaac's hand and lead him over to where the oatmeal was being prepared. He had to figure this out before he spoke to Dutch again, this wasn't a game anymore, this was his life- his son's life. He had to do what was right, however, he struggled with the answer.

If he did this, his focus wouldn't even be on the task at hand and he'd run the risk of getting shot and killed. Anything could go wrong and right now he needed that not to happen. He had big plans and wanted to achieve them before it was too late.


End file.
